North Korea's official news agency sounds eerily like Trump's Twitter
Earlier today, North Korea responded to the recent death of U.S. citizen Otto Warmbier — whom the rogue nation had sentenced to hard labor more than a year ago for stealing a poster — by saying it was the “biggest victim” in the tragedy.
It’s a bizarre claim, but it has a familiar ring — because it’s the kind of statement we’ve come to expect from both the DKRP and our own president.
Here are some of the highlights from North Korea’s official account:
"Although we had no reason at all to show mercy to such a criminal of the enemy state, we provided him with medical treatments and care with all sincerity on humanitarian basis until his return to the U.S. ... considering that his health got worse."
"To make it clear, we are the biggest victim of this incident and there would be no more foolish judgment than to think we do not know how to calculate gains and losses."
"The smear campaign against (North Korea) staged in the U.S. compels us to make firm determination that humanitarianism and benevolence for the enemy are a taboo and we should further sharpen the blade of law."
Aside from the prose being far more polished and urbane, and the arguments much easier to follow, the statement is remarkably similar to many of Trump’s tweets.
The eternal victimhood … the tedious whining … the hysterical self-justification … the outlandish, unsupported statements … the inscrutable gibberish … the mildly ominous yet largely impotent threats — they’re all there.
Take, for instance, this tweet:
How is the discovery of millions of illegal votes no one else has ever seen or heard about — every single one of which went to Hillary Clinton, by the way — really any different from North Korea’s claim that it had discovered a unicorn’s lair? Or that Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger?
How is North Korea’s claim that its scientists have created a drug that can cure AIDS, cancer, and Ebola really all that different than this?
And to be fair, North Korea’s claims that Kim Jong Il scored 38 under par the first time he ever played golf and wrote six operas in two years (“all of which are better than any in the history of music”) are far, far more plausible than this:
Finally, the same guy who implied that Ted Cruz’s father was involved in JFK’s assassination, said Hillary Clinton was asleep during the Benghazi attack, stoked the birther fantasies of millions of Obama haters, called his political rivals “Low-Energy Jeb,” “Little Marco,” and “Pocahontas,” and said one of his primary opponents was too ugly to elect somehow found the gall to say this:
That may not be as bad as murdering a U.S. citizen and then claiming you were brutally defamed, but it shows the same ability to instantly shift from savage aggression to abject victimhood.
The rumors from a few years back that North Korean males were being forced to adopt Kim Jong Un’s hairstyle were apparently untrue, thank God. If Trump had followed Dear Leader down that rabbit hole, who knows how intolerable life in America could have become?
